Music to my ears

Apart from it all
I see things, feel things, hear things
My impression of you quivers
And that fear creeps up my neck again
I`m not scared of you
I`m scared of losing you
And that frightens me more than anything.

When i`m with you, near you, hear you
it all seems okay
You make it okay.
It`s hard to know who to trust
But once youve opened your heart to someone

It can make things even more puzzled.

Maybe, just maybe
that`s the risk I need to take.

The slate is clean

I dont see no dirt
No holes, no grime.
Its pretty, its neat
Its future looks divine.
I see the texture
The details hidden
It`s all clear now
What must be given.

Even though

Even though I'm sick
Even though I cry
Even though I ache
Even though I lie
Even though I pretend
Even though I'm scared
You see me, just me, truly me
You know me, and you care.

Falling..

Hard.

Tripped out the gate.

I never thought my life, as simple as it has always been,
could ever become as complicated (at least through my eyes) as it currently is.

You're slowly killing me
And I wish it wasn't true.
I really do.
But it seems like
I'm so into you?

Everything seems to hurt. It all seems to worry.
Though about 99% of me feels like theres no hope at all
Concidering my life doesn't consist of much need for hope.
That small 1% is still stuck in the back of my mind.
Wondering if a time of day will ever arrive.
For it to be released.
For it to run wild.

Alison Wonderland.. perhaps?

And there's a part of me that knows i'm everything you need
But i'm afraid to let you in
Afraid of what you'll see

And now i'm falling even harder for the boy i really know :)

Oh, Mirror in the sky.. What is love?

My stomach is in knots just thinking about it.

How is it possible to distinguish from a friendship and something more?
Is there a code name that's said?
Are there signs that I'm missing?
Or maybe it's just all in my head.
Maybe its just the thought of it, that makes me crave it.

Or maybe it's something more.

Leave me be.

I. Don't. Understand.

Two people, 21 years, 10000 questions of how they are completely opposite.

One wants me to dream. They believe in me, believe in my hopes and dreams, and have hope that i'll one day, maybe even soon, be able to accomplish those on my own. They give me confidence and credibility for my strengths. They give me hope.

The other wants me to live life as they lived. Inspirationless, dreamless, hopeless. They have no idea of what I'm saying because they've never had ambitions like I have.

This makes no sense.
My head hurts from this absolute nonsense.

But you know what?

My life. Is NOT hopeless.
And dreams will come true.

Royalty doesn't compare to this

It's difficult to say that my family doesn't annoy me half the time.
I automatically think "Oh God, Give me some peace!" when someone's about to open their mouth.
Though I know they are exactly like me, so I shouldn't talk.
But I do talk. And I guess that's just who I am.

But I really should acknowledge them more.
They do so much for me, keep me together.
Like a superhero.
Saving the world, one helping task at a time.

If it werent for family, there'd be no way I'd get to actually reach my dreams.
Travelling, in particular, would be out of the question.
Not for my crazy Parenteau clan.
They believe that acting in the moment is the best way to live life.
The only option.
The fact that I'm actually the second Parenteau girl to travel to Europe is kind of outstanding.
The fact that I have so much more freedom in this world than my other sibling is crazy.
The fact that I'll be travelling with my closest cousin to DisneyWorld this summer is unbelieavable.

Unbelievable, yet realistic.

Beauty is blind, until you live with that beauty.

The Brighter Side

Selfish losers can take the world for granted sometimes.
They can concider everything in their life to be a dead end
And are blind to when others only pray to meet another day.
To see the sun rise
To find a reason to be happy.

I've seen the brighter side. I've just never taken the time to acknowledge it to its fullest.
I thank that side for the motivation of things.
The ambition that makes me want to run faster and faster
No matter how far away that dream looks
It seems to get a few inches closer every day.
Though miles apart and years, maybe decades away
One day, just maybe
I'll be able to touch it.
I'll greet it with a hand shake
And prepare for the next chapter that I face.

Who knows when that will happen.
Sooner always seems better. But learning takes time.
So maybe sooner would be the worst.

That bright sunny opening that we always look towards
That we always catch a glimpse of before we set onto our journey
Maybe we better take a better look at it before we start moving..

See.
Sooner can be the worst.

Brighter side, see you soon.