I miss your smile, I miss your face.

It's sad how you can miss someone, even though you haven't seen them for a few hours.
It really is sad.
And it's selfish.

And I should start my essay.

Goodbye.

I'm headed for the big E city this upcoming weekend. (Edmonton, if you must know.)
Me and my dad are just gonna visit with my uncle and aunt and their kids. Check out the mall. Maybe find a grad dress? And finish some Christmas shopping. And my history essay must get scheduled in there sometime as well. Very important indeed. I can't wait until this week is over and done with. I really just need to get away for a little bit.
But at the same time..

I don't want to.

-- i'll miss everyone too much.
it's the first time i've been out of pa overnight since I returned from europe, back in april. i'm going to miss everyone. a lot.

You know what I hate?
When you tell someone, in all seriousness implied, that something bothers you very much, yet they continue to do it? It really bothers me so much.
And when you tell someone that you're coming to see them for the fact of being with THEM, yet they just walk away?
Seriously.

I also hate that I forgot my earbuds for my three spares this morning. FML.

I also hate that I have not even started my storybook assignment, OR my history essay due a week from today.

It sounds like my life sucks ass. It really does.
But it doesn't. Not always.

You know what I love?
Coming to school and gossiping about the latest haps from the weekend.
Making smoothies at 2 AM and spending time with you until the light comes out.
Feeling like I'm important.
Knowing that assignments are done. (Doesn't happen too often.)
Jumping into a warm truck after walking in the cold weather.
After being awake for twenty minutes, jumping back into bed and falling asleep instantly.
Relating lyrics to my own life.
The idea of the future.
Box shifts.
Carlisle.
Dairy Queen runs with my friends.
Wasting time away, doing things like this post.

This was the most random thing of my life.
Goodbye?

Noone can save me like you do.

It's funny how you can have the best day. Good marks. Good food. Good friends. Good music. No drama. Everything basically perfect. Until one person says one thing and shuts all of the lights off.
It literally brings a person down so hard. Everything good just disappears into shadows and the spotlight shines on the negative. When it rains, it pours. I know I have the people I need. I know i'm not alone. I know that I can feel like the only person the planet sometimes, but I also know that I have friends there for me. Real friends.

But it still hurts, like a dagger to my heart. It stings.

I need shelter out of the rain.
Give me that shelter.

I see the silver lining on your cloud.

And keep it.

It's been quite a quite a while. Yes, two quites. That is a very quite while.
I got who I wanted. I survived Europe. I lost who I didn't want to lose. I kept who I trust. And I started the biggest journey of my life:

Senior Year.

It's tough. Let me tell you. All the responsibilities being thrown my way these days. All the thoughts. All the problems needing to be dealt with. All in my hands. My tiny sanitizer-purified hands.

Seriously though. I gotta get my deal together. Right about.. now.
The battle plan?
Go to school. Work in school. No matter how hard the battle is. Get home and do my work again. And finish it. Go to actual work. And work very hard. Go home. And sleep. Maybe relax a tad.

And then start it all again.

Anyways, thats the plan for the next couple of weeks.
Luck? Who needs it. According to all I've accomplished since my last post, I got all I need.